rage and rescue

The Yoga Chicken finds himself abroad, and speaking in the third person, which is a terrible thing to do, unless one is living in a constant state of non-judgment and equanimity, which one is not doing 100% of the time.  Yet.

Whoa, seriously, check it out.

But it’s hard to be disgruntled when the view out your front window looks like this:

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m in Scotland.  Scotland is historically a land of pissed-off people who will fight you like badgers if you try to, I don’t know, take over their country or something. They might do this with swords, or big heavy spiky balls on a chain, or with wild roving bands of bagpipe players.


Wait, not cool.  Let’s see what Thich Nhat Hanh had to say about anger, when he visited the Maryland Correctional Institute at Hagerstown in 1999.  This is an excerpt from the book, be free where you are, by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Q: Have you ever been mad?  When was the last time you were mad?

A: As a human being I have the seed of anger in me, but thanks to the practice, I am able to handle my anger.  If anger manifests in me, I know how to take care of it.  I am not a saint, but because I know the practice, I am no longer a victim of my anger. 


I guess I never thought of it that way before– being a “victim” of your own anger.  Huh.  Maybe the Scots haven’t either.  Or for that matter, anybody who ever goes to war and feels all powerful and big as a result.  Or at least they think they do, when really they’re just victimizing themselves, like moody teenaged girls experimenting with cutting.  Except on a bigger scale, of course.  Huh.

Well anyway we need not dwell on that.  Scotland isn’t all about war, after all.  They also do nice things.  Like, for example, they have these incredible lifeboats that will surge out into the raging sea and rescue you if you get in trouble out there– even if you get in trouble for doing something stupid.


Isn’t that cool?  That you can do something stupid in Scotland and people will still come and get you?  (on the water, anyway).  I don’t think it’s like this in the States.  I think if you do something stupid in the States, you’ll just get shot, and then everybody will have a party.  That’s why there are so many guns in the United States.  And also so many reality TV shows.  Americans in theory are not as wild and savage as the legendary Scots, but maybe that’s just because we haven’t been around long enough. It seems to me that we started off semi-respectable (Pilgrims? Sort of?) but things went downhill pretty quickly from there.  And now we’re in some sort of a mud chute heading off a cliff.

check me out.

That’s why it’s kind of nice once in a while to go somewhere else and pretend that you live there. You know, dress the part, talk the talk, try to blend in as much as you can.  Talk smack about the United States as though you weren’t really from there.  You dumb Yanks.  See?

Anyway back to this lifeboat business.  Now this is one SERIOUS boat.  If it flips over, it can right itself, apparently.  And the thing has POWER.  Hooo!  And its only purpose is to go out and fix things that have gone incredibly bad.  The first day I got here, for example, this boat had just plucked a dead body out of the water the night before.  Now, granted, that’s not much of a rescue, but still.  It had good intentions.  And check out the color!  Orange!  Orange is the color of your second chakra, which is supposed to be all about creativity and sexuality and stuff, and I don’t know what that has to do with a lifeboat, but anyway it’s a pretty lively color.  And if you’re going to spend your time throwing yourself into the waves, you’d better have a little bit of energy.



Hooo yeah, I’m driving it, baby!  It’s me!  I’ve got this!  Hold on, tired swimmers, here I come!  And I’ve got lifejackets! I don’t care what you did, I’m coming, and I’m bringing this kick-ass boat, so get ready!


Seriously, if you tried to innertube behind this thing, you’d probably end up in space.  It’s that powerful.






Well anyway we’ve learned about several things today.  Anger, rescue, and… okay I guess that’s about it.  Here’s the Yoga Chicken, signing off, and again reverting back to speaking in the third person, which is still repugnant, and yet everybody does it, so why not me?  Sounds like a topic for a future post.


One comment

  1. Ron Keezeer · April 24, 2012

    This is great! Rob Roy and Robert the Bruce have nothing on Yoga MacChicken.

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