Although, if you’re like me, the way you read books is just as shameful as the way you do yoga. The books are there…. I’m just not reading them. No time, is what I tell myself. But what am I doing with this time, instead of reading/doing yoga?
Well, hanging out with my roommate, for one. Hey Don. Wake up. Wake up. Wakeupwakeupwakeup. Did you hear the latest about Dominique Strauss-Kahn and his so-called “high-class prostitutes?” Please. Give me a break. What? Yeah I know you’re sleeping but it’s 9 in the morning. Why are you sleeping? You sleep ALL DAY LONG, man. I think you should go get that checked out.
Another good way to waste vast swaths of time is to organize your spice cabinet, and put things into little metal racks so they don’t go sprawling into all your other cabinets and/or onto the floor every time you open the cabinet. Probably the best thing is to have vertical metal things though,and mount them on the wall, so you can actually see all your spices, but whatever. One thing at a time, right? I’m not going to beat myself up for my horizontal metal spice holders. I happen to like them.
I have done yoga in the past. And who was it that said “The past isn’t dead–it isn’t even past?” Faulkner? Maybe. (Damn, I should read some Faulkner.) Anyway, if the past isn’t dead and isn’t even past, then I’m currently doing yoga about four times a week at an excellent studio in New York City, with a dedicated and engaged community, because it’s still 2006. Right? Right?
Oh no, I’m surfing the internet! Christ, this could take up the whole rest of the day if I let it. I swear some day I’m going to wake up and I’ll be 85– putting a bid in for a little mechanical bird on eBay, and I’ll realize that I’ve been online for the past 35 years and missed my entire life. It could happen. Maybe it’s even happening to you right now.
Oh god. There’s my mat. My empty, unused mat. It’s taunting me. Why do I even keep it out?
And here’s me, not on the mat, but gathering the courage to confront what’s going on here. I’m getting close. But I can’t look at it. It’s too– ugh. I can’t– no, come on. Breathe. Flow. You can do this. Easy does it………
Okay, I’m bracing myself. I’m gonna do this, even though it feels awkward. There’s only one way to break through this wall of shame and denial, and we’re going to do this, right here, right now.
Step 1. You’ve gotta manifest your intentions in the physical world.
In other words, dress for success.
In still other words, fake it ’til you make it.
Step 3. Don’t be too hard on yourself for avoiding your practice like the deadly, virulent plague that it is not.
We’ve all been there. Yeah, it’s hard. But don’t think about it.
The important thing is just to keep coming back.
Step 4. A little privacy, please? I’m trying to do yoga.