Here’s a little hint.
I’m not going to talk about the practice today. Let’s just say it was good. It opened up a lot of space in my brain. I took a lot of mental junk to the Goodwill of the Brain. Gone. Mission Accomplished.
Okay so when you get done with your practice, you often have a blanket that looks something like this. At least I do. And usually I want to run away.
Because I’m relaxed. And who wants to deal with this crap when they’re relaxed and feeling good? Nobody. I want to enjoy my good feeling a little–not immediately squander that good feeling on this.
Why is it such a big deal, you might wonder? It’s just a blanket. Well. Anybody who has taken a little yoga knows how strongly yoga teachers feel about having neatly folded blankets. You would think we were defusing an atomic bomb or something. It’s a blanket. And so when you get up from your meditation, immediately there’s this pressure to do something The Right Way. And if you don’t do it The Right Way, then there’s a good chance you’ll be mocked and scorned your good feeling is in danger of slipping away down the toilet. So. Today we have to learn about folding a blanket.
What you need to do is get all the fringy parts on one side. When you match up fringe end to fringe end, and do it neatly (no haphazard diagonal lumpy folds or someone will sneak up behind you and re-do your blanket, and that = good feeling going down the toilet). You might want to smooth it down a few times and have your yoga teacher notice you doing this.
So here’s what it looks like when step 1 is completed. It gets easier from here.
Now you do that a few more times, keeping the fringe ends together. This is probably folded one fold too many, actually. And it’s not precisely done, as you will notice. Actually, this blanket fold will likely get me in trouble. However, this particular yoga studio keeps the blankets in a little cupboard and they’re a little crammed in, and so doing the one extra fold makes sense. The important thing is that you actually make the effort, and don’t moan about it, for cripe’s sake. Oh great. See? I’m getting cranky already. And actually, nothing has happened. I am just anticipating failure and judgment.
Crap. Maybe I need to take another yoga class. But I just TOOK a yoga class. See, this is the problem with yoga. You start taking it and you actually become aware of how much more of it you need to take.
Infinite amounts of it, as it turns out.
Now you can journal about it. Pour all your blanket-folding rage onto the page. Really rip into it. Like, “Fuck you, messy blanket! You’re trying to sabotage me! Get out of my sight! I don’t need you!” That kind of thing.
Then you can burn the letter in a big bonfire and watch all those feelings go up in smoke. Nobody has to know what you did. And now you have lost a good deal of emotional weight. You are no longer emotionally obese. Maybe you’re just emotionally chunky. We’ll get there.
It’s all happening for a reason.