It’s important to meditate every day. An expert meditation source whose last name is Finger and first name is Alan often stresses that meditation is like brushing the teeth of your mind. You have to do it every day. You can’t just do it sometimes.
I don’t have teeth. I have a beak. But I get what he’s saying.
Sometimes I scrape my tongue.
I guess I should do that every day.
Oh Ganesha, you elephant thing –you are the remover of obstacles and you’ve got a big job all the time. No wonder you’ve got so many arms. Plus a trunk. I’ve only got two legs and a couple little wing things. I could use your help.
Psst. Let’s make today a good day, shall we? Let’s bust up some obstacles and send them on their way.
Let’s do this thing Ganesha. You and me. Chicken and elephant.
Bahh bah bah bah bah ba baaahh baah baahhh. Baahhh Bah bah bah buh bah bahhh bahhh.
A guy I know sings that song. Those are the actual words. The title is not what you think it might be. Hang on——
Where’s my car?
Oh no. Shit.
I’ve been towed! Aaaaaaaaaaaaghgghghgh!
YOU did this, you desperate little ninnies! You fastidious little jerks! This winter can go to hell! I hope you’re making tons on money you bloodsucking leeches! Maybe you’ll make enough to build another crappy bridge that collapses with people still on it! Minnesota: Land of the Expensive Self-Imploding Infrastructure.
Bite me. Bite your lutefisk. Bite Prince, I don’t care. AAAAHHHHH!
Getting to the impound lot.
Standing in line.
Forking over a load of cash.
Packing into a van to get driven to my car.
Driving back home.
And now THIS. Where did THIS come from?
Land of 1,000 Lakes? More like Land of 1,000 Hit & Runs.
Minnesota Nice. BITE. ME.
You know what? Forget it. Just forget it.
It’s not worth it.
I’ve got insurance.
I’ve got better things to do with my brain.
Ungh. Eh. Emph. Urgh.
We’ll do that later.
Let’s try this again, shall we?